I don't know what happened.
It was working fine on Saturday, and it hasn't sustained any sort of trauma since then... I checked to make sure that it didn't get switched to 'night vision' or something crazy like that, but it's still on 'auto'. I cleaned the lens. I changed the batteries.
Nothing.
Fuck.
EDIT: Well, maybe it DID get beaten up when I wasn't looking... I tried the zoom function and it sounded funny - almost like it was crackling? I don't know. Grr.
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